Rubber Band Theory In Marriage

The theory is simple distance yourself from the other person become aloof as it were and watch as they come pinging back to you like a stretched rubber band hence the name.

Rubber band theory in marriage.

This is not a happy scene. We hope we re talking about the same thing because as we think about it the first time we heard about the rubber band theory was when we originally read john gray s book men. This cannot be wise advice. Called the rubber band or the male intimacy cycle it s when a man vacillates between being close to his partner and pulling away.

Sometimes they want to be close and connected like a coiled up elastic band. The elastic band theory seems to imply that we should all be mean to each other to keep each other. Once you get to a point in dating relationship marriage where you have discussed the rubber band theory you can be supportive of his need to pull away but ask that he be supportive of reconnecting when he has had his space. Continue reading on the next page nextpage stage 1.

One of our long time subscribers to our newsletters wrote to ask if we support the rubber band theory in relationships in relationship breakthrough coaching practice. A healthy marriage is a able to recover from the rubber band s stretching and return to the relaxed state. Have reconnect time after he finishes his pull away stage. I don t know if it s going to be true in your case though because you didn t just let him go and bounce back.

You may have basically told him to go away and not bother coming back. While this is a normal and. The beauty of the rubber band effect is that you can and should use it at every stage of your relationship to drive up his desire. Ok so i know what you re thinking isn t that just absence makes the heart grow fonder.

However as a marriage becomes less satisfying and as stress in the marriage grows the tension in the rubber band increases even when nothing stressful is happening. Just met five minutes ago let s say you re hitting it off with a cute guy at a party. The most important reason is to connect with their more masculine side and to focus on the activities that make them a good provider and partner. I don t always hear it referred to as the rubber band theory.

Men do this for many reasons. We hope we re talking about the same thing because as we think about it the first time we heard about the rubber band theory was when we originally read john gray. For women things don t shift so quickly. But it s definitely true.

These relationships seem perverse.